Finding Happiness
by Highonlife2213
Summary: After Sam and Emily's wedding Leah is tired of trying to pretend that she's okay, she's tired of living, but after failing at ending her life comes a long, bumpy road of healing and could love possibly mixed into the equation? LEAH'S POV POST BD.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Hey everyone! Hope you enjoy my new story!**

Tears streamed down my face, I couldn't get the images out of my head, Emily in a beautiful white wedding gown kissing Sam, everyone in the pack was smiling. _I_ _was suppose to be the one in the white wedding gown kissing Sam. I was suppose to be the one to spend the rest of my life with him._ I thought to myself, yet I wasn't, instead I had put on my brave face and agreed to be Emily's maid of honor. I had put on my brave face and everyone had turned their backs on me, simply assuming I was over Sam, that I was alright. I'm not okay. I stared at the moon it was a full moon tonight and its bright light shone down on First Beach so I could see despite it being the middle of the night. I have to end this, I can't be here anymore, I suddenly decided standing up, I ran full speed into the water, climbing onto a rock I dove in and shut my eyes. Despite not being able to feel the coolness, I knew that it was cold outside and in the water I could feel it, it almost felt as though thousands of little needles were being injected into my skin. I closed my eyes and smiled, I'm not going to suffer anymore. I could feel the water fill my lungs, this is it. There was a sudden force behind me and I could feel myself being pulled from the water. No! I don't want to be save!

"I've got her!" The voice sounded familiar, from the heat of the person I knew it was someone from the pack but, I couldn't put a name to the voice, my mind was too jumbled, I tried opening my eyes to see who it was but, they felt as though tiny weights had been placed over them. There were more voices, but they sounded as if they were coming from a radio with lots of static. There was pounding on my back and I could feel the water trickle from my mouth, finally my eyes seemed to allow me to open them and I saw the pack surrounding me worry etched into all of their faces. It was Paul who was pounding me on my back as Seth kept me sitting up.

"Damn it, Leah! Cough! Cough it all up!" Paul shouted more panicked than angry at me. As if on que my stomach became queasy and I leaned over spewing a disgusting mess of salt water and all of the food I'd eaten today.

"That's good, get it all out of your system." Sam was crouching down beside me. I wanted to snap at him, ask him why he cared, to tell him to go back to Emily, but I didn't. It wasn't his fault he had imprinted. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't be angry at the pack for saving me. They all loved me, I realized, they just hadn't been able to see passed my facade. I gasped for breath and I could feel hands comfortingly rubbing my back. My eyes drooped again I slumped forward just as Jake ran forward and caught me.

"Let's get her home and in bed she's exhausted."

* * *

I woke up to the bright light shining through my window, my head pounded and I shielded my eyes. Someone got up and closed the curtains and I looked up to see Jared. I frowned what was he doing in my room? He must have noticed my confused expression because he began to explain.

"Carlisle came over to check on you last night, we're afraid that despite being a werewolf the water that filled your lungs could have caused pneumonia. Carlisle took some tests that came back positive, but he couldn't be sure until the morning when you woke up so it was agreed we would take shifts watching you and Carlisle would swing by in the morning to check on you again." Jared explained as he grabbed a pillow off the floor and helped my weak body sit up. I don't understand I'm a werewolf, I was made to be strong, to heal, I couldn't get sick. "Jasper came along with Carlisle last night, he said that you were under so much emotional stress that your body wasn't functioning properly and that was why you weren't healing like you should be, why you weren't thinking straight last night."

"So if I am sick...." I let my croaky voice trail off, talking was tiering.

"Then your stuck getting better the human way." Jared finished for me. "I'm going to go call Carlisle and then the pack everyone's frantic with worry about you.

* * *

"It's pneumonia." Carlisle declared to me, I sat in my bed, the rest of the pack had wanted to be in the room with me when I got the results but, Carlisle noticing how stressed I had been had told them to go wait in the living room. I sunk further into the bed, I felt feverish and hot, which was saying something considering my usual temperature. Carlisle pulled out a thermometer from his bag and popped it into my mouth. "I'm going to prescribe a medication for you to take three times a day before each meal." He pulled the thermometer out from under my tongue.

"What's my temperature?" I asked, curious of the tiny instrument in Carlisle's hand.

"Let's just say that any human would have died before their temperature could get this high. I'm putting you on bed rest for now. You can get out of bed to use the washroom but, other than that if you want to bathe take a bath and I know you might feel embarrassed by this, but have someone there with you encase of an emergency." My eyes widened. There was no way anyone from the pack was going to help me bathe, and things had gotten awkward between Emily and I, no matter how much I loved her and mom had passed away awhile ago so she couldn't help, I wish she was here, mom would have made everything better like she always did. Carlisle smiled sympathetically at me. "I'll swing by every other morning to check on you, but for now I don't want to hear about you up, about and out of this bed." I nodded weakly, my eyelids drooping, I could hear voices down the hallway and knew that Carlisle was explaining to the pack what his doctor's orders were. I suddenly heard the creak of the door and looked up, I was surprised to see Bella standing there. Her and I hadn't gotten along very well and I highly doubted that she liked me any bit after some harsh words were said on my behalf while she was pregnant with Nessie.

"I know you don't like me very much, but I kinda know what your going through. I want to help in every way possible." She spoke softly to me, the voices were still talking in the hallway, they probably didn't even know that Bella was in here.

"How would you know anything about what I'm going through?" I growled, ignoring how much it hurt my throat.

"Although he had his reasons, Edward did leave me at one point. I remember the pain, it was horrible like a big hole was punched right in the middle of you, and no matter how much you tried to hold it together you felt as though you were going to be ripped apart at any moment." Her tone was sad and I wrapped my arms around my middle, that was exactly how I felt. I nodded in encouragement and she stepped forward. "Here, Alice picked this up for you. Both of our numbers are installed if, you need anything at all just call or text one of us and we'll be over right away." She held out a tiny silver sell phone and after showing it to me placed it on the night stand.

"Thanks, I think I'm going to be taking you up on that offer, there's no way I'm letting anyone in the pack help me bathe." I croaked/whispered painfully. She snickered and nodded her head in agreement. With a small wave she left. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all, I felt good about making amends with Bella but, every other part of my body felt like crap. I drifted in and out of conciseness all day long and before I knew it someone was shaking me awake.

"Leah, wake up! You need to take you medicine and Emily made you some soup for supper." I opened my eyes a tiny slit to find Quil shaking me while Embury sat me up using pillows, I only sank deeper into the pillows. I just didn't have the strength to sit up right now, let alone eat. Embury snapped his finger infront of my face, trying to keep me awake.

"Come on Leah, you can go back to sleep after you eat, open your mouth." I opened my mouth and suddenly a plastic needle was shoved into my mouth, the kind with no point at the end that was used to give young children cough medicine. A nasty liquid was forced into my mouth and I gagged after swallowing. "That's what you get for scaring the hell out of us all," Embury's voice was soothing, "Now open up, I swear I won't shove medicine down your throat again you just need to eat some soup. After I was done the soup and Embury and Quil left I sunk back into the pillows only to hear the door creak open and I knew someone else had once again come to bother me, what did these guys not understand about the concept bedrest? BedREST usually means resting...

"Lee-lee? Can I come in?" I turned my head tiredly to the side to find an anxious looking Sam at the doorway I nodded slowly and he entered closing the door behind him.

"I'm sorry Leah, I never wanted to make you unhappy. I still love you, I really really do, its just that its different now. " He said, the hurt, worry and guilt was clear in his voice. He hadn't wanted to hurt me, never had he wanted to hurt me and I knew this, but hearing it from him, made me feel just a little bit better. I nodded again. "Will you please say something Lee-lee?" He begged and I realized that he thought I was angry with him. I wish I was angry at him, but for some reason I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried because I knew that he hadn't meant to hurt me.

"It hurts." My voice was scratchy and weak a barely audible whisper, but I knew he heard, being werewolf and all. He winced at this and I realized I hadn't finished what I was going to say, causing Sam to misunderstand the meaning of my words. "To talk." I finished, and he nodded looking at me worriedly.

"I guess I should probably go now, so you can get some rest, we'll all be here for you if you need anything at all." Sam slipped out the door and finally I was allowed to let sleep claim me.

* * *

One Week Later

"Hello?" Oh thank god, she'd answered her phone, I could here clanging, sizzling and shouts in the kitchen.

"Bella!" I screamed in my hoarse voice, which I was worried was going to permanently stay like that.

"Leah, is that you? Are you alright? What's all that racket?" Her voice was concerned and I could have sworn I heard a car door open and close.

"Its a disaster, as soon as Emily stepped out of the house to go shopping, because apparently I need new pyjamas so her and Alice decided to go shopping, the boys decide to make me soup and I'm pretty sure what ever they cook up isn't going to be edible, and there's a really funky smell in the air right now-" Cough, Cough, "and I'm not sure if its what ever the pack is making or me because I haven't bothered to attempt to bathe in a week!" I hoarsely complained.

"I'll be there in a couple seconds, I'm already on my way." And then the line went dead. I heard the breaks of a car outside and the front door opened.

"What the hell did you do the kitchen!" I heard Bella screech.

"Hey Bella,"

"We're making soup."

"Although we are having some problems."

"You call that soup?" She questioned them. "No more making soup, okay? Clean this mess up, I'm going to go help Leah with a bath and then I'll make her something a little more safe to eat."

"What about us?"

"I'll make something for you too if this mess is cleaned up before I come back down stairs." Suddenly I was being scooped up into Bella's arms and carried to the bathroom where I could already hear the water running. She let me down gently in the tub and helped me wash my hair, and politely turned around when I wanted to wash other parts of my body. She drained the tub and helped me into a silky pyjama set that I don't remember owning. "I brought them for you, there mine but, I figured they're really comfy and slightly stylish so Emily and Alice will hopefully not nag you too much about them. I washed them too, I know you don't like the way I smell too much so I tried the best I could to get my scent out of them for you." Bella explained carrying me back to my room. Before I could thank her she was off again and I could hear a blender downstairs, soon she was back with a tall glass with a straw peaking out the top. She handed it to me after propping up the pillows behind me, I took a sip.

"Its good," I didn't bother to hide the shock in my voice, she was a vampire, she didn't eat, how could she be such a good cook!?

"Thanks," She laughed at my expression, "I use to be human not to long ago you know, and when I was, I cooked for Charlie almost every night."

"Oh. Well, what is it?" I asked taking another sip, it was sweet and cold, which felt good against my throat which was raw from coughing. There was definitely something strawberry in here.

"Its a chocolate strawberry shake. I've got to get going, Edward's expecting me home soon, do you need anything before I leave? Just call me if you need anything at all." Bella told me.

"How do you tell Alice you don't want her buying you anymore stuff?" I asked.

"You don't"

"Oh, okay. I'll see you later then."

"Okay, bye." After she left I finished the smoothie quickly, before calling out to the pack, which really hurt my voice.

"You need something?" Embury and Quil popped there heads in, by their tussled hair and the loud bangs downstairs there was no doubt that there was a fighting match going on downstairs.

"Did Bella make any extra of that shake thing?" I asked hopefully.

"Yeah, but we ate it with the sandwiches she made us and then hid the container so she wouldn't know we did because it suppose to be for you." Well I guess I hadn't expected the answer to be anything else....

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW**


End file.
